The Old School, Back in the day for 80's babies

At the "tender" age of 24, I am legally allowed to now say "back in the day"... This can be blamed mainly on the music industry. Remember when you were in your teen years and you might've been caught by your parents or anyone in their late 30's or older saying, you don't know what back in the day is! You could have been talking about Jermaine Dupri's duo Kriss Kross (with my pants to the back that's my everyday uniform, cuz inside out is wiggity wiggity wiggity wack!) Or even "say she's just a friend" Biz Markie, depending on how into music you were. Let's not make this a rap conversation though, I'll leave it strictly up to "soul" singers.

Growing up I remember hearing a lot of Al Green, Marvin Gaye, Stephanie Mills, Atlantic Starr, Barry Whie, Teddy "Turn it Off!" Pendergrass, the list goes on... I canl of their popular songs word for word just like I can remember Donnie Simpson's haircut late nights on BET. Now tell me you don't remember Donnie Simpson because you were up just a bit too late and didn't want to go to bed but seriously nothing better was on TV. These hit songs came out mostly in the 70's meaning that those people who told you that you don't have old school music were teenagers at the most if this was their era of music.

Now I can't remember much R&B or soul music when I was a teen or younger but I'm going to run through a list of names that I'm going to throw into the old school wicker basket. Al B. Sure, he goes first because he's light skinned, despite the unibrow. Keith "always crying" Sweat, Robert "I believe I can fly" Kelly, not trapped in the Closet kelly. SWV, Total, and Mary J. Blige. Aaliyah, Soul for Real, "so hard to say goodbye" Boyz ii Men, TLC "red light special", Toni Braxton, Brandy, Babyface, Monica, Mariah Carey (despite the fact she is married to someone my age yikes!), Janet Jackson who in my opinion could dance way better than she could sing, Bell Biv Devoe, Tevin Campbell, Luther Vandross... The list goes on. The only artists that qualify for this list are artists who could "sing" by the year 1997...

If someone can make me a 1990's sould music list, I'd be happy to pout the cd together!

www.slacker.com has an incredible soul station by the way. I've been listening to it for the past hour and its inspired this post. Of course this music is way better than our 90's stuff, but hey, we just have a bigger artillery of music than our elders! Haha in your face old people.

Oh oh, tell me have you seen her is on...

iiiii've been used, for having someone to lean on, and I'm looooooost! Baby I'm loooooost!

I Remember...

Sometimes I like to reminisce...

I remember Pre-K with Ms. Fenton and Mrs. G. No matter what colors you mixed on the easel it always came out brown and Tyrone had ringworm's back then...

I remember back in Kindergarten, when my chair dropped on Ms. Jarvis' foot. She still uses a walking cane 'til this day. Overreacting or Overweight? I don't know... Tyrone still had ringworm's and him and I had a photo put in Child magazine for the future of kids and video games... (I never caught ringworm's)

I remember 1st grade, Ms. Pilato and meeting my future crew Trev and Vince, and our forever follower Rehman...

I remember 2nd grade, Ms. Spector. She used to give you pretzels from a can for answering math questions correctly... I also remember the mean kids running circles around Onan Smith to make him throw up out in the schoolyard. I apologize if I ever did that to you Onan.

I remember 3rd grade when Mrs. Schupack was pregnant forever like Joe's wife on Family Guy, but then she had to leave and we got Ms. Jarvis as a teacher for the rest of the year. Had she been on a teaching "hiatus" that whole time? I also remember her yoking up Jason Santana in the stairwell that same year.

I remember 4th grade with Mr. Stokes throwing Alberto through a row of desks and yoking him up against the wall. We had a substitute teacher the day before and Alberto definitely took advantage destroying the whole classroom. I used to beat him up on the school bus because he looked at me over the stall one day. I almost felt bad when I found out he was a "resource room" kid when I graduated 6th grade.

I remember back in 5th grade when I went to the district spelling bee, i misspelled reminisce to take 3rd place. I did smash PS127 though, so HOLD that!

I remember 6th grade sitting right in front of the teachers desk and always having to smell her nasty breath. Big Red gum doesn't work... I also remember "sonning" Manny and 7th grader on the court though. Remember putting your hand on someone's head and laying it up like you were dunking it?

I remember 7th grade having Options in Robert Wagner aka IAT. A fake shop class and you get out of school 45 minutes early so that you can go back to PS127 and visit your friends...

I remember 8th grade having Options... The option that was taken was to cut that class and get out 2 hours early... I did not take this option due to fear of my dad catching me because he worked around the corner. Lucky Vince, Trev and Ian...

The summertime reminds me of so many things that I used to do in my preteen years. I recently revisited Queens for mother's day to see my mom, and it's changed in the past year. Apartment buildings everywhere, Citifield is huge, Pathmark has a different exit off the Whitestone.

I'm in Clifton Park now making new memories and looking forward to my future.

For the many blessings you have bestowed upon me, and my new family,
Thank you Lord...

Words of Encouragement (You're Special)

1 Samuel 22-24, Luke 12:1-31
This is what I read today as part of my journey of reading the bible.

I especially loved 1Samuel24:13 As the old saying goes, 'From evildoers come evil deeds,' so my hand will not touch you. This was said by David to Saul while sparing his life. Saul chased David all over, and David ended up getting the jump on Saul when he went to "...relieve himself" (1Sam24:3). He spared Saul's life after Saul was trying to take his. Saul kiled the Priests of Nob (85 to be exact) by odering Doeg to take their lives. The many guards that King Saul commanded at his side would not do such a thing because these were priests of the Lord.

Luke 12:31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well
I fel like this verse summarizes the 30 before it. We worry about different things, but not about others, but the Lord wants us to not worry about anything but seeking his kingdom. What to wear today, what you will eat, or your body, are not things to worry about. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes (Luke 12:23). You are special, "the very hairs on your head are all numbered..." (12:7)

These words are very encouraging to me today, and I hope they are to you as well. Always remember how special you are and there should be no reason to worry, or frown. Smile for everyday is wonderful that you are able to wake up and give thanks to Him.

Dirty Laundry

Earlier today, I began a post called Glue. It talked about how women, despite how bad their relationship with a man,stick to them like glue. It started out as a childhood memory and turned into a 2000+ word entry. I went off on the keyboard. Something lately has allowed me to freely express myself on a keyboard even though I'm talking to no one. I remember the AIM days when I would chat with Sarah all day and night and I had witty, wonderful things to say for hours on end. I was "just that into her". The Glue post made me cry for about a minute because it was very personal and I think I realized some things not just about myself but my childhood. I hit post and then decided that this just wasn't the place for it. I saved it as a word doc and changed the post to what you see below... Twitter... Really? That post took me hours and maybe the stomach ache I had was the reason the words flowed effortlessly. As if they were coming from the soul as some would say. If anyone would ever like to read it, shoot me an e-mail. You'll understand why a blog is just not the place for that sort of thing.

Oh, and today was Rufus Green's last day. Master Betty took his place. Rufus was my Jetta, traded it at Toyota today. I took a picture of it as the salesman took it away. I will post about it tomorrow... Maybe.

Kung pow enter the fist is where I got master betty from.

Twitter

Really???

Ode to Vincent David Wellington and 2007-2008

As long as we had been friends, "brothers", bound by years of shared experiences, is as quickly as my memories of him will fade. My room became his when I went away to college, and even when I returned I never really got it back. I was fine with that, that room was only big enough for a midget and a half and the heat is probably what kept me thin all these years, despite the midnight ice cream runs thanks to Vince's suddent urges.

When i was first delivered the tragic news, I went through the "stages" fairly quickly:
1. Denial:
* Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me!,"
2. Anger:
* Example - "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me!"; "Who is to blame?"
3. Bargaining:
* Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
4. Depression:
* Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
5. Acceptance:
* Example - "It's going to be okay."; "I can handle it with change"; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

Denial took about 5 seconds...
Anger took about 5 minutes...
Bargaining... I think I skipped this step!
Depression... Came and went every couple of months but for these brief 30 minute periods
Acceptance... Set in before I made it to my front door...

My father came to pick me up from work, which had never happened before. My dad rarely drives into the city unless he feels he has to. He called to tell me my car was parked in front of Mr. Al's garage. I'm thinking he moved my car because I had a problem remembering alternate side of the street parking some days (I can't say I miss it one bit, score 1 for the Capital Region). My thinking was, Mr. Al passed away months before so what was the big deal if my car was in front of the garage? "No offence" as my wife would say, but I didn't think anyone would be taking a car out of that garage in the next 8 or 9 hours, I'm not moving Rufus (My car's name at the time due to the bad catalytic converter which made it have a very raspy voice, if you will). We drove through Manhattan over the 59th street bridge (midtown bridge, Queensbridge) and into Long Island City. 10 minutes goes by and he made some casual conversation, no more than usual. We had made it all the way to the beginning of 32nd Avenue, which is around 51st street. At 74th he gives me the news giving me roughly 5 minutes to get it together before I get home at 106th street. He gives me the lecture on what I'm going to go through but I'm not really listening as he talks about the "stages". I punched the dashboard in hopes that the airbag wouldn't punch me back in the face, curled up in a ball, and began to slowly lose air. He told me my mom already knew as well as my siblings. I dried my face up and got ready to step into the house. My youngest sister (16 at the time), hugged me first and then my mom. They couldn't help crying. My brother (15) was upstairs as he usually is, clinging the controller as if hitting the buttons any harder would help him through the video game. It was one of the only times I remember my little brother feeling the need to hug me. At that point I felt it was my fault. Not for Vincent's death, but for bringing him into their lives. I am a "What If" type of thinker and I knew I was the catalyst. I had to quickly get over this thought as I knew I would have to be the one to break the news to other friends as well. I don't remember how many phone calls I made but, I remember one person telling me, "haha you're kidding" and hanging up on me. She had known me since 1st grade so it was understandable. Others immediately cried and some it took time for the actual thought process to set itself in their heads.

I thought back on October, 2007. I felt like I held back saying a lot because I was trying to perhaps make everyone happy. I'm a former "people pleaser", with a tendency to say what someone else wants, instead of what I want. I am also a really bad public speaker, but I always end up volunteering myself for those sort of things once in a blue moon to perhaps overcome some kind of fear. Of course this day, I not only felt it was appropriate that I be the one to speak at the event, but if only two people were going to get to speak at the service, I was going to be one of those two. I was told before hand since someone couldn't speak, it would mean the world if I spoke, not to mention I had to relay the message from our childhood couterpart Mr. Delmore seeing as he couldn't make it (not his fault). I tried to write a nice message, but only had a day or two before the service. By the time the words on the paper made it to the stage, I don't remember what happened or what was said. It was a total outer body experience. I couldn't bear to get on stage and be some kind of comedian, everyone was wondering what the "serious side" of Ronald looked like. All the crying faces in the front row seemed to dry up a bit when they saw me take the stage. Not many of them saw me walk in and I guess I was a sight for sore eyes. I sat near what was his most recent girlfriend, at least that I knew of, while the ones before her sat a couple of rows ahead. None of these relationships ended on bad terms, well at least not to my knowledge. Some lasted days, months, and only one, years... I read the message from Mr. Delmore in it's Harvard'esque nature. Quotes of inspiration, love and admiration and even a memory or two. I then proceeded to read what I wrote for perhaps 2 lines and then ad-libbed the rest. This was to make the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant friends happy. This speech was written for them. The encore presentation to take place, was for the close friends as I was to soon find out.

I sometimes feel like the only reason people had began to cling to me that day and for almost a year later (and some 'til this day) is because perhaps they weren't as close to him as I was. I was the last thing some people had to hold on to, that would keep the thought of him alive, until they were ready to let go. 95% of us dropped what we were doing to get together and just reminisce while others just got back into the daily grind. To make a long story short, I got to know some interesting people. There were some people I had not seen in 10 or more years, and others who I didn't want to see for another 10 years. I will admit I was quite annoyed when people asked me if he said anything about them or told me why he stopped talking to or calling certain people. I lied and said he didn't even if he did. He can take those to the grave, no use in senselessly hurting people's feelings. Sometimes I wonder, if all those girls knew I was around for 99% of the instant messaging conversations they had with him, would they even talk to me? If they knew that I was aware of EVERYTHING that went on in their relationship/friendship with him, would they approach me differently? One can only wonder...

The year after he passed
The Giants won the superbowl
The Celtics won the NBA Finals
I got married (WOOHOO!)
I graduated college (finally)
Moved to Upstate NY
Nikki finally broke up with the old guy for good
My parents finally had enough of each other
My first salaried job (IT Systems Analyst)
Last but not least...
My son Caleb was born



Special thanks to
Nikki for all the bowling and Max Brenner's
Alex for all the late trips into Brooklyn until the sun came up
Adenike for wreckless driving through Manhattan and the guilt trips about keeping you out late
Maud & Chloe for the one day job of production assistant and the frequent visits at work
Best Buy for putting up with my nonsense at Chelsea and Columbus Circle
Caleb for sleeping through the night
And Sarah
You got me through October until now with your advice, insight, and love, despite the hormonal issues. You stuck with me and all my stupidity! I Love You, Forever.

If I was a cat

I am not poking fun at people with Diabetes, after seeing my little brother's new album on Facebook of funny cat photos, I had to Google this one and steal it. My new obsessions with food has me thinking that even at my so-called slim, 162lbs, my eating habits will land my in a self-injecting insulin future. I'll try to keep it at bay. But just follow along with me here...

If you haven't been to "This is Why You're Fat"and taken a look through each and every page, I will explain to you what will happen. As most of my friends are not "Meat Lovers" the ones who are will understand the process of how my inner fat-boy came out. It does not make a difference when you visit this site, but how many pages you make it through before you say "I would try that". Some items like the White Castle Casserole will make you want to regurgitate at the very site of it while other smorgasbords such as the Porkgasm the idea strikes you as a Final Four or Superbowl meal idea. You first have to understand that the presentation of these meals are simply not Iron Chef quality, so reading the descriptions is what will really jump out at you. I won't spoil it for you, i recommend you check it out. My personal favorite is the Bacon Explosion.

The annoying guy at work (EVERYONE has one) sent me an e-mail about the ShamWow Guy. My only thoughts on the whole situation... He's 44 years old? Vince Shlomi (My inner fat-boy thought Vince Salami), PLEASE tell me what's with the Janet Jackson headset in the infomercial? What a weirdo.

I'm headed back to the gym hopefully this time some week after the doctor cleared me to continue working out. I'm happy because it was a nice routine but the Manthers are what made it annoying. I guess it can be expected at any gym of course.